The Bianca Dye to your Jackie O


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My gorgeous friend JB is quite simply hilarious.  She is wasted doing a desk job, in the confines of a Melbourne office, working that constrictive not constructive 9TO5.  She is the kind of person that can hold a crowd simply by being funny and interesting, not by being loud and obnoxious.

We recently lamented that we could do for daytime TV in Australia what Denise Van Outen and Chris Evans did for breakfast TV in the UK.  We would make it funny, light hearted, interesting, entertaining and something Aussies welcomed into their homes first thing in the morning over their vegemite toast and enormous bowl of ridiculously healthy muesli and yoghurt.  Only one problem.  Would Aussies welcome the not so dulcet tones of two Poms? Unlikely.

We’re both frustrated to the nth degree at bad Australian journalism.  But more than that.  The people who get paid exorbitant amounts of money to read from a teleprompter and attempt to entertain and inform us each morning.  Whilst normally just using it as an excuse to make bad jokes (normally in poor taste) and push their opinions onto us (Kochie – you know I’m talking about you).  So what’s the saying – if you’re not prepared to do something about it, then you can’t comment. Well, we’re here and we’re willing to do something about it.  PUT US ON TV! Or radio, face for radio I hear you say!

Apparently just this morning, JB tells me (I’m more of a Today Show fan myself), Mel Doyle from Sunrise invited viewers to close their eyes and imagine what it is like to be inside a burning building – when reporting on an old people’s home burning down.  I mean REALLY?!  And how about when Karl Stefanovic told the Dalai Lama a pizza joke.  Again, REALLY?!  The list could go on.

Now I’ve entitled this post The Bianca Dye to your Jackie O and this is misleading.  I only did this to up my google ratings and because I have dark hair and JB has blonde.  I can safely say we are nothing like those two ‘radio jocks’.  But whether on TV or radio I truly believe JB and I would have a chemistry, probably better left to late night radio where we can swear, drink sav blanc and smoke a ciggy or two admittedly, but it’s about time there were some intelligent but entertaining people on air.  Who weren’t selling out for the commercial dollar.  But were allowed to be light hearted and hard hitting all at the same time.

Doing what Scott Dools did for Triple J.  Chris Moyles for Radio 1, Ryan Seacrest for E! and Alexa Chung for MTV. Love them or hate them, they’re my fave examples and kept me coming back for more.

I want to ask the questions no one else asks.  I want to do it without making everyone my best friend just so I can get invited back stage and to all the best parties.  I want to have the conversations you have every day with your girlfriends that would never normally see the light of day, but are no doubt what everyone else is thinking.  And if I don’t have a clue about something, I want to ask people to come on the programme and help educate me and my listeners/viewers.

Can you hear us pumping on your stereo. Does that mean something rude?!

OK, massive tangent.  I think I slipped into a world there where I did actually have my own show.  Whoopsie!

I can’t get annoyed with crap radio and telly without saying that I could do a better job.  Easy to say when you know you’ll never find out of course 😉